1999


 

[TOP] the romantic pig dance of sex

walking past her
grabs the hair
dragging fright and dark
"startled little child" said.
and is gone, waltzed away.
mother, stand up
aware of your fear
run tonight and disappear.
leave the leaf
that's fallen to the ground
shivering, trembling
died just this hour.
slap my face
to waken your mind
you must be cruel
to have been so kind.
steal the knife
from out of my back
give me the dawn,
then give me a life.
pursuing madness
i feel free at last
i control all of you
from this, my cage of glass.
[TOP] everyone's a killer

everything passes too quickly, in a slow way.
but it still works, i still feel the fear,
it is so unbearably painful to live in here.
everything's gone now, only emptiness has stayed,
and evil has with my mind comfortably played.
and i would always see the darkness in the day.
always dry was my plentiful tear,
never quite able to disappear.
forever will i feel betrayed,
and evil has with my mind comfortably played.
she will no longer beside me stay.
and i had clouded the crystal of clear,
for not one intention, could i revere.
the heart, the stone of jade - portrayed,
and evil has with my mind comfortably played.
[TOP] castle

knowing nobody, not even myself
i hide all the pain on my spider-web shelf.
all alone, as i breathe in the dirt
the evil inside me scars me with hurt.
sharp little cruelties, disguised as life
i have always fought off with all my might.
yet as darkness sets in and finishes its nest
all that is pure will be put to rest.
then the coldness will devour my mind, the cell,
destroying the home in which i dwell.
from world to world it moves around
and my poisoned ashes blanket the ground.
and so i am here, for all eternity,
will i be alone, or is this what they call free?
do i see some clouds, or is my mind unclear,
and if i blow my hardest will it all disappear?
[TOP] master of the master

the torture continues as i bathe in the past -
who else but emptiness can see through glass?
you observe from above, from your throne of shit,
looking down upon us in our bottomless pit.

you rule us like the clouds rule the rain,
swamping the dirt with blankets of pain.
like rivers flow down a mountain side,
so do the tears from our broken eyes.

so can you see the sun in the shade?
or can you hear the sounds in space?
can you fly through land as you do in air?
or can you find the hope in our despair?
[TOP] the swarthy hog inn

it's snowing in my room
and i can hear you scream
but do you know
you're not as scared as you seem?
you'll run to the bathroom
and what's in there?
grandfather's washing his hair.
mary, can't you see the crap?
you'll yell till i snap,
but you can't tie me up
because i have the box
where the cat survived,
do you think he's alive?
don't you know
they're somewhere in china,
they make all the planes sink
with your fountain pen ink.
and you can't write any more
you can't use your hand
you can't use your mind
and you can't make it bland.
you're lost and afraid
and you can't remember
the last time you played.
what was your name?
why aren't you sane?
can't you feel the pain?
isn't it all the same?
only you're to blame.
[TOP]